Story under the Moon
by JadeCC
Summary: Under a moonlit night, Kenshin lets Kaoru know what she really means to him.  Completing the Autumn challenge at RK fic exchange.


Title: Story under the Moon

Characters: Kaoru/Kenshin/Yahiko

Words: 2300

Rating: K

_Why are you waiting? What are you waiting for?_

Her mind asked as she looked at the man standing before her, holding her hands. His eyes were as sweet as ever, filled with hope and anticipation.

Pity she had to reject him.

"I'm honored, Kenshin. I… I truly am. But I cannot accept your proposal."

She saw the confusion on his face. How could she reject him after all her pinning? It wasn't a secret that she loved him, adored him beyond comprehension. So why, when Himura Kenshin was finally asking her to become his wife, Kamiya Kaoru decided to say no?

Megumi was going to strangle her for sure when she found out.

"I… I don't understand." He shook his head for good measure. "I thought…" He brows furrowed and he lowered his gaze to stare at nothing. "Why?" His eyes lifted and stared at hers.

Lowering her gaze to his hands holding hers, she shook her head and then looked up again.

"I love you." She heard him desperately say and she smiled sadly.

"I know, " it sounded like a whisper. "I love you, too, Kenshin. But I… I just want you to love me like I do. It may sound selfish, but I want to be the only one."

It was funny—how love could forgive but not forget. Kaoru knew she was irrational. After all, who could blame a man for loving a woman before her. She felt so horrible, but then again, how would have Kenshin reacted if she had loved someone else before him?

Kenshin stared at her in awe. He knew there could be some conflicts once Kaoru found out he had been married before. He knew she could be upset, but this he wasn't expecting. She could not reject him. Not now when he felt he couldn't live without her.

"Please, Kenshin. Please understand." Her plead was searching acceptance, sympathy. "I cannot marry you because," she paused and raised one hand to caress his face, "I want you to be sure."

"But…" He began to interrupt but was silenced by two fingertips.

"I don't want you to love me because there's no one else for you to love. I don't want you to marry me because I'm the only choice available." Kaoru could feel tears gathering in her eyes but she kept going on.

"I want you to love me because you feel I'm really your better half. I want you to marry me because you're willing to give me your whole heart—like I am, like I have."

Her tears were flowing freely now but Kenshin did nothing to stop them. It hurt. This rejection hurt more than the deepest sword wound. "I don't want you to marry me because you have to or because I'm the first person to… to have cared for you after her."

Silence reigned for a few minutes as Kaoru began to move away from a still shocked Kenshin.

"I still want you to be here. Even though I cannot have you, I want you with me," a self-deprecating smile appeared on a tear-stained face. "But if you feel you need to leave, I won't force you to stay. I… I just want you to know that I really love you. I'm just too immature and selfish, I suppose." With that, Kaoru began to move away.

Minutes passed or maybe hours—Kenshin didn't care—but he didn't move at all from his spot. He stared at his hands—the ones that had just held her—and then looked up at the darkening sky.

Tomorrow they were celebrating Otsukimi and he had planned to spend it with his newly bride-to-be. Fate was too cruel to trifle with his plans.

-o-

After yesterday's fiasco, this morning had been more than awkward. Kaoru thought that Kenshin would leave after her rejection, but to her underserved happiness, he had stayed. Of course, that meant that he had woken up and made breakfast like usual. Only this time, he had not smiled and couldn't even look at her without showing deep sadness and disappointment in his eyes.

She had eaten as fast as she could and asked him if he really wanted to do this: to stay with her in spite of everything.

"I'll stay. You have me"

His soft reply moved her heart but she refused to look beyond his words.

"I'll go to Magawa-sensei's dojo to teach. Today's Otsukimi so please don't worry about me and go to town to enjoy the celebration if you want." With that, she simply left him without looking back.

-o-

After an uncomfortable morning and empty lunch, Kenshin was sitting on the porch asking the same questions over and over.

He wanted to understand Kaoru but somewhere deep inside him, he felt resentful. For her lack of trust, of faith in his love.

What if he had loved Tomoe first? Couldn't she see that he could love again? To blindly offer his heart?

Yes, his Kaoru was being selfish but after a sleepless night and much thinking, he came to one single question: what if they had switched positions? Would he feel the same? Would he feel like second best?

_Maybe she's right. Love easily forgives, but it rarely forgets. But…_

Shaking his head, he stood up from his sitting position and started toward the gate. A walk would do him good.

_So much for spending the evening with my now former future bride…_

-o-

Her class at Magawa-sensei's dojo had been difficult, but nothing she couldn't manage. It was always good to inspire new kids to enjoy kendo. After that, she had decided to walk along the river.

She didn't want to go home yet.

Looking at the coming sunset, she wistfully looked at the people gathering around to see tonight's autumn moon. If she had accepted Kenshin's proposal, they would have been together here…

Maybe she should stop being so childish and accept things as they were. So what if Kenshin had been married? He loved right? She was alive and Kenshin wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.

_But, I… I don't want to be second best. I don't want to be with me because he couldn't be with someone else…_

She was lost in her thoughts until she felt someone's presence next to her. Turning her head, she embarrassedly smiled.

"Yahiko"

"Why isn't Kenshin with you?"

No hello. No insults. Surprising.

"Uhm?"

Yahiko snorted before shaking his head. "I went to the dojo to look for both of you. None were there." His eyes frowned. "Did something happen? I thought we would all come to see the moon."

Noticing the slight worry in Yahiko's eyes, Kaoru tried to speak as pleasantly as possible. "I'm sorry about that. I had to teach at Magawa's today. I had to stay late."

"How about Kenshin?"

"I… I don't know," noticing the way the child was looking at her, Kaoru decided to quickly cover her fault, "I think he mentioned he had errands to run."

"Where?"

"I don't know, Yahiko."

"But…"

"I said I don't know!"

Blue eyes stared at brown eyes until the latter looked away.

"You're weird today. I'll go to Tae's and see if Tsubame is there." Yahiko said as he began to walk away. Kaoru was ready to turn around on go her own too when his voice stopped her. "Whatever it is happening between you and Kenshin, you guys should fix it. You're supposed to be together." And before she could say anything, Yahiko simply waved a hand to indicate he had done his part.

Staring at his departing back Kaoru wondered if he was right.

_You're supposed to be together._

-o-

By the time Kaoru was ready to go back to the dojo, the moon was already shining bright in the darkened sky. The slightly cold breeze helped to cool the still warm night. It was early september and the remnants of summer had lasted longer than usual.

She had just opened one of the gates when a familiar presence startled her.

"Kenshin…"

"I love you." His voice was clear and strong. "I love you and I don't want someone else."

His hands were clenched in two fists, Kaoru noticed, but his eyes were a light purple/grey.

"I was around four when I heard my parents have their first argument." His sudden announcement confused her.

"I don't remember much from my childhood, but I remember that night. It was three days before Tsukimi and my parents were supposed to plan what food we would have to celebrate. We were farmers, so we didn't have much. My mother wanted to offer _dango_ but father said she couldn't make them right, not like Saori, so it would be better to make something else as offering."

To say that Kaoru was stunned was an understatement. Kenshin never spoke about his childhood or his life before becoming an assassin. Whether he was driven by her rejection or something else—she didn't know—, he was sharing something unknown with her.

"My mother became enrage when father said that. She said that she would never be like Saori-san, and that if father loved her so much, then he shouldn't have married mother."

At that comment, Kaoru gasped in surprise. Kenshin's father had been in love with someone else?

"I didn't know but Saori-san was my father's first intended, I found later on. She died from malaria three months before her wedding. Father was devastated for almost two years before he married mother."

Kenshin stopped briefly and decided to tuck some loose hair behind Kaoru's ears.

"When father announced his marriage to mother, everyone thought he had finally found a second chance at love, that he could be happy again. Everyone believed so except mother. Her family farmed at a neighboring field and she met father about six months after Saori-san's death. For mom, it had been love at first sight, but as father decided to court her, she discovered he had loved someone else before her. That someone was now dead. Of course, at the beginning, she was hesitant to accept father's suit. She feared father would always love his first intended and that he could not love her enough. At the end, mother's heart won over her mind and she married father."

Kaoru looked down and her lips trembled at the similarities between her and Kenshin's mother situation. Were their fates so strangely intertwined that even this kind of coincidences could occur?

Kenshin held her chin and raised her head so she could look at his eyes.

"But during that night, mother's fears became reality when father told her she couldn't cook like his first love. In reality, father's comment was innocent. As much as he loved my mother, father was right. Her _dango_ were not that good." Kenshin chuckled at that. His mother must have not been that great cooking them if Kenshin could still remember their taste.

"Mother was scared of becoming second best and on that night, she felt she was." Unexpectedly, Kenshin leaned forward so that his forehead touched hers. "Just like you felt… feel now." He whispered.

"For two nights, mother cried silently as father didn't know how to convince her that his heart belonged to her but not Saori-san. She may have been his first intended and passed from this world before father could make her his, but what father felt for mother was different."

Chapped lips caressed Kaoru's temple and she didn't know if she should pull away. If Kenshin continued, she would cave and she couldn't…

"On Otsukimi, father told mother to look at the moon. He asked her how long one had to wait to see the moon as full and as bright as on Otsukimi night. Even if there are many full moons within a year, it's only on this day in autumn when one can truly see the moon's real beauty, to see it illuminate the earth like that."

"Father found in Saori-san the beauty one could see in any full moon. But with mother, he found something rare, something that only happens once within a year."

"Kaoru." Just like the night when he proposed, Kenshin took her hands in his, "I may have loved Tomoe and she may have been my first wife, but like father, I found in my second chance love I cannot live without. I chose you and no one else not because you happened to be the first to care for me after so many years of loneliness. I chose you because you are the light that not even Tomoe could provide. I don't love you less, but the love I felt for her is not the same as the love I feel for you.

"Loving Tomoe helped me to have calm amid the bloodlust. Loving you makes want to _live_, to embrace life's wonders as long as you're with me. You're my brightest moon, Kaoru, and you can only happen once. There's nobody like you.

"Love forgives, and I forgive your initial rejection. But love doesn't forget. Even if one hundred years pass by, I cannot and will not forget that I let go of the most valuable being in my existence.

"So I ask you once again, Kamiya Kaoru, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Raising a trembling hand, Kaoru whipped some of the tears that had started to gather on her face. She imperceptibly nodded once but tried a second time, more forcefully, so Kenshin could understand her answer.

At her positive reply, Kenshin took her in his arms and hugged for all he was worth.

Fate could be fickle with his plans, but love… Love understood when a heart found its other half.


End file.
